Why I believe connection should come before competition

I have a simple belief when it comes to dog sports: before we ask our dogs to work with us, we should build a relationship that makes them want to. Not because they have to. Not because we are holding a toy or a piece of food. But because being with us is genuinely rewarding.

This is something I have learned over the years, mostly through training my own dogs and through the work of Susan Garrett, who has had a huge influence on the way I approach dog training. She has taught me many things, but one of the most valuable lessons has been the importance of building a strong, lasting relationship with my dogs. For that, I will always be grateful.

I want to be the most interesting thing in my dog's world

I can make a pretty confident bet: if I unleash my dogs in an appropriate, safe environment, their eyes will find me. They will want to know what we are going to do together. They will be excited to engage, to play, to learn and to work. They won't automatically choose to run off and find other dogs more interesting than me. Not because I suppress their curiosity or forbid them from enjoying the world. And certainly not because I expect them to ignore everything around them.

It's because I have worked to make our relationship worth choosing.

I want my dogs to have fun with me. I want them to see me as their partner in an adventure, not simply as the person who gives instructions. I want them to approach training with enthusiasm because working together has become something they love. For me, that is the foundation of dog sport.

What I often see at training

Once a year, I usually attend classes to get feedback on my own handling. I value that opportunity. There is always something to learn, something to improve and something I might not notice when training on my own.

But there is also a pattern I sometimes see that makes me think.

Handlers try to keep their dogs' attention by continuously feeding them or waving toys in front of their noses desperately trying to compete with everything happening around them. The dogs, meanwhile, seem preoccupied with the environment. Other dogs, movement, smells and every exciting thing happening nearby can be more compelling than the person at the end of the lead.

And then comes the agility run.

The dog takes off. The handler calls its name. The dog doesn't respond, or comes close only to dodge being caught. The handler reaches for a toy or a treat, hoping to regain attention. Sometimes the dog runs off again. Everyone becomes frustrated, and the session turns into a game of chasing, calling and trying to regain control.

I don't share this to make fun of those handlers. I know that people love their dogs and want to enjoy a sport together. I also know that building engagement can be difficult, and that every dog and every team is different. But I think we sometimes start too far down the road. We focus on getting the dog around the course before asking a more fundamental question: Does my dog actually want to engage with me when the environment offers something else?

Food and toys are not the problem

Let me be clear: I use food and toys. I believe in play, reinforcement and making training rewarding. The issue isn't the reward. It's what happens when the reward becomes the only reason the dog is willing to interact with us.

There is a difference between using a toy to reinforce a behaviour and constantly waving a toy around because the dog has no interest in engaging without it being presented.

There is a difference between rewarding a dog for coming back and repeatedly showing a dog a treat after it has ignored you, run away or avoided being caught.

And there is a difference between a dog who is excited about the game you have built together and a dog who is so overwhelmed by the environment that it cannot participate in that game.

These situations require different training approaches. Sometimes the environment is too difficult. Sometimes the dog needs more practice with recalls, disengagement or settling. Sometimes we need to reconsider our reinforcement strategy. But often, we need to step back from the sport itself and work on the foundations.

Connection is built outside the ring

A relationship doesn't magically appear when we step onto an agility course. It is built in all the moments before that: in play, in everyday interactions, in learning how to work together, in reinforcing choices we like and in helping our dogs navigate the world. It is built when we become predictable, when we listen to our dogs and when we make interaction with us valuable. And it is built by allowing dogs to be dogs, too. A strong relationship doesn't mean a dog must stare at its handler every second or never want to sniff, explore or play with another dog. I don't want a dog who has no interests beyond me. I want a dog who can enjoy the world and still choose to reconnect with me. That distinction matters.

The goal isn't to make ourselves the only interesting thing in the world. It's to become someone our dogs want to return to.

What happens when we skip the foundation?

Dog sports are exciting. Agility, obedience and other disciplines give us wonderful ways to learn, communicate and challenge ourselves alongside our dogs. I understand why people want to start as soon as possible. But enthusiasm for the sport shouldn't make us rush the relationship.

When a dog struggles to disengage from other dogs, repeatedly runs away from its handler or cannot respond in an exciting environment, adding the pressure and speed of a competition setting may not solve the problem. It can make an already difficult situation harder to manage. In agility, a dog who isn't responding to the handler or is running unpredictably can also create safety concerns. There is no shame in stepping back, reducing difficulty and investing time in the skills that make training safe and enjoyable. You don't lose time by building the foundation. You invest in everything that comes after it.

Before you ask for performance, build partnership

I don't believe every dog needs to behave exactly like mine. I don't believe there is only one way to train, or that a strong relationship eliminates every training challenge. Dogs have different temperaments, histories, needs and motivations. Even with a wonderful relationship, they need to learn the skills required for their sport. But I do believe that connection makes learning possible, engagement makes training enjoyable, and trust gives a team something solid to build on.

Before I worry about how fast my dog can run a course, how precisely it can heel or how beautifully it can perform a sequence, I want to know that we can find each other in a distracting world. I want my dog to be excited when we begin. I want us both to enjoy the process. And I want the work we do together to strengthen our relationship rather than become a constant struggle for attention. Susan Garrett helped shape that philosophy for me, and I see its value every time I train my dogs.

So, if you're dreaming of agility, obedience or any other dog sport, by all means, go for it. Enjoy the journey. Learn new skills and challenge yourselves.

But don't forget the part that comes before the sport. Build the relationship. Create the connection. Then build the performance on top of it. Because the best feeling isn't simply having a dog who can do the job.

It's having a dog who is genuinely happy to do it with you.